Monday, March 7, 2011

A Tiny Bit Darker

Can I first say that I love love love all your comments? Thank you!! It's so encouraging to know that y'all are reading & cheering me on and praying for me! I love reading every single one!

A couple of you also said you want to see a picture of my pregnancy test! :) Well, to tell you the truth, I tried to take one this morning. And you can't even see the line on the pictures!! It was hard to get it to focus correctly. And then you seriously need to zoom in or have a magnifying glass to see the faint line! But I promise you that in real life there truly is a very faint second pink line. And this morning it showed up a little quicker and was slightly darker than it was yesterday. I promise to post one as soon as I can get a good shot!

I'm still way early in my cycle. I'm not even supposed to start my cycle until this Friday, and I already had a positive on Sunday! I know the facts. I know about very early miscarriages and all the advice about not testing too early b/c so many pregnancies are lost to early miscarriage. But, as most of you probably know from experience, it's just too hard to wait!

This weekend has been SO emotional!!! First of all, we said goodbye to Big Guy Saturday. We haven't seen him since. (Thanks for asking, Erin B.) He was sick, so we didn't even ask about taking him to church with us. Maybe next weekend, I'm hoping.

Then on Sunday I got the positive pregnancy test. For those of us who have been through recurrent pregnancy loss, that brings a lot of emotions - both good and bad. It brings a lot of hope and excitement for what the future might hold. But it also brings a lot of memories of the past lost pregnancies, and fears try to creep in.

And being a foster mom is generally a roller coaster. Little Guy is on my mind a lot. I can't imagine life without him, but we know that he is not adopted yet.

So.... all that to say that I've been going through a lot emotionally lately. BUT I still hang on to God and know that He is in control!! He reminded me of that fact so sweetly today. I can rest because I know that He is in control. I don't have to worry and fret. I've just got to trust Him.

One of my best friends sent me her favorite Scripture today: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow has enough worries of its own" - Matt. 6:34

Isn't that so true! Today Little Guy is with me. Today I am (I think!) pregnant. I'm not going to worry. I'm going to trust in the One who holds the future!!

I hope that y'all have a blessed day and also put your hope in Jesus!


E said...

Congrats Birdie. I hope this is it for you.

Tracy said...

First of all, a line is a line is a line. ;) and yay! for the darker line today!

Stacey said...

I agree, a line is a line! Girl, I was just praying for you last night and hoping you'd be pregnant soon... then I see this post today! :) Prayers continue!!!!

So sorry about your sadness over saying goodbye to Big Guy. I know he was a blessing to you and you both were to him. I feel sure that the love won't ever be forgotten. (((HUGS)))

Birdie said...

Thank you!!! :)

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