Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Gestational Diabetes Test Today

This morning I went in for the gestational diabetes test where you drink the sweet stuff and get your blood drawn. It was normal!! I feel like every little test is a big milestone for me. I don't take any of my Dr. appointments for granted. I never just think, "Oh no big deal." I'm always a little nervous and asking questions and so thankful when I get a good report.

I go back in one month for an u/s just to check on Baby's growth. He doesn't think anything is wrong that needs to be checked (Of course I asked!). He just likes to do an u/s at that time b/c it's a good predictor of how big Baby will be at birth.

So far I've gained 18 pounds, which he says is right on track. He generally recommends women gain around 35 pounds total, and I'm already over halfway in my pregnancy. So 18 pounds is just right, he said.

I got to hear Baby's heartbeat again today via doppler, and it was so fast. The assistant called her a "Sugar Baby" and said that they really get going after the glucose test b/c they like that sugar!

So thankful that I can share another good report with you. After so many bad reports over the last few years, it feels soooooo good to have great news to share! Thank You, Jesus!

Monday, July 25, 2011

23 Weeks

SOOOOO many times I didn't know if I'd ever be able to have a picture of myself like this. It's a great feeling lately to look in the mirror and see that I'm actually pregnant and doing well. Sometimes I still feel like it's so surreal. I was out shopping Saturday and thought to myself, "I wonder if I look like a real pregnant lady!" ha It's just that sometimes it's still very hard for me to grasp and realize that this is real.

I've been missing Little Guy terribly, but I got to hear from his family and get pictures. He looks like he's doing well, and they say that he's happy and adjusting great. I'm SO thankful for that.

Well, just wanted to send you all a little belly bump photo on his Monday morning. And I hope that it encourages some of you to keep hanging on. Miracles can still happen!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Unexpected Trip to the Doctor

Well, I told y'all about the weird pains I was having in my last post. So this morning I called my doctor just to make sure it was normal. I tend to worry about every little ache and pain (thanks to RPL), so at first I wasn't going to call. But then I knew I'd worry if I didn't.

So I called, and my doctor wanted me to come in for an ultrasound. Cue increased worry! I was thinking, "Why do they want me to come in? Does he think something's wrong?!"

So I got there and had the u/s. I was analyzing every facial expression and comment of the u/s tech. I thought to myself, "What does that mean when she said 'Have a great weekend'? Does that mean that everything's normal?" It sounds ridiculous. But those are truly the thoughts I was having!

Anyway, to make a long story short, turns out that everything was normal!!!! NORMAL!!!!!! My cervix measured 3.9. He said that anything above 2.5 is good. Everything else looked great. Thank You, Lord!!!!!

I'm 23 weeks along tomorrow!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Kicking Pains - Normal?

So I'm almost 23 weeks along now. And just recently our baby has started kicking me in what feels like my cervix. I need to know if what I'm feeling is normal!

So I'll feel her moving around in there, and then BAM! There'll be a little shooting pain (sometimes I describe it as a *zing!*) that shoots through me and feels like it's my cervix. It sort of reminds me of the pain of that little brush when the gyn does a pap smear. But it's a little more painful than that.

Is this normal?? Has anybody else had these pains??

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Family Talk Broadcast

If you're dealing with recurrent pregnancy loss, would you like to hear from someone who understands where you are or where you've been?

Or if you have a loved on dealing with RPL, maybe you'd like to know how you can comfort them and encourage them.

I recently found this broadcast on Family Talk, and it's GREAT!!! I hope it's an encouragement to you!

Family Talk Broadcast


Monday, July 18, 2011

Missing Him

We said goodbye to our Little Guy Friday morning. It was painful. But I'm still in awe that God gave us the strength to do it. This was one of those things that a couple of months ago I thought I would never be able to do. It's amazing how God enables us to go through the things He's brought us to.

I miss Baby so much, though. I've thought about him so many times over the weekend and wondered how he is and what he's doing. Last night I just lay in bed and remembered his little curly hair, soft skin and smile... *sigh* I couldn't help but shed a few tears last night before I fell asleep, thinking of him.

I continue to trust the Lord, though. I know there was a reason for his leaving. And I take GREAT comfort in knowing that he is with a good family. I couldn't bear to know that he was with a family that wouldn't love him. But I truly believe that with this family he will be loved, taken to church, cared for and will receive all the best opportunities in life.

At one time I thought he would be mine. And even though he's not, I will never stop loving him or praying for him...

Today begins a few chapter. It's the first week that I'll be home again with just me and no children in almost a year (since we started foster care last September). Today I will begin to prepare for the baby that I longed for for so long. I am now 22 weeks pregnant. Can you believe it?! Thank You, Lord!! It's been a long, hard journey. And we still have a ways to go. But I'm so thankful to be this far. And now I'm going to start thinking about nursery colors and bedding and little pink clothes.

Before I got pregnant with this little girl I was to the place that I was just about ready to give up. I had been to an RE that didn't help me, spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars (maybe thousands), been through surgeries and was just about ready to be done with it all! I felt so burned out.

But then I just knew deep down in my heart that I wasn't quite ready for that yet. I felt like before I could have peace about stopping the pursuit that I needed to explore one more option. I had to drive 4 hours to get there, Jay had to take a day off work, and it included another surgery which meant another day off for Jay and a night spent in a hotel. But I knew in my heart that it was what I needed to do. And I'm SO incredibly thankful that we are now 22 weeks along with our little girl! Sometimes it still seems so surreal. And I definitely am aware that I am only a little over halfway there. I still struggle with thoughts and fears related to miscarriage (after going through it 4 times!!). But I just keep trusting, hoping, and moving forward.

Thank you for all your continued prayers and support. It really means so much to me. I hope that my story can bring some hope to you.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Leaving Us

After welcoming Little Guy into our home at 6 days old, loving him as my own child, watching him grow and flourish to be almost 7 months old, he will be leaving our home and going to live with a family member in a few days. The decision has been made, the plans are set, and we are preparing our hearts to say goodbye.

I am comforted in knowing that he is going to a good home. I believe they will love him and teach him about the Lord. Still, my heart aches. But God has given me peace.

Thank you for your prayers. I know it's going to be tough.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Finally....My Belly Pic!

So here I am! My husband took this tonight. I will be 21 weeks on Saturday, and I definitely have the bump now!!

Sometimes it still seems so surreal. I practically have to pinch myself! Today I signed up for prenatal classes at the hospital to learn about labor and delivery. It's so hard to believe that I am already halfway there. There were so many times when I just couldn't even imagine getting to this point. Through all the miscarriages and surgeries, sometimes I just couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I always tried to stay positive and trust the Lord. But it wasn't easy by any means. It was such a difficult time.

And now it's been very difficult b/c right now we are in the midst of possibly losing Little Guy - our nearly 7 month old foster baby who we'd hoped to adopt. At one point we were even told that we'd likely be able to adopt him, but now things are not looking favorable. We have been on a roller coaster for months now. So again, I continue to trust the Lord and pray for guidance.

I hope that I can continue to encourage you all with my pregnancy. After 4 miscarriages and 3 surgeries over the past 3 1/2 years, I know what it is like to be in the midst of the battle of recurrent pregnancy loss. But I hope that you will be encouraged that miracles do still happen and that maybe if it can happen for me that it can happen for you too.

Again, I want to post the info about the RE who finally helped me find the problem that other doctors missed: http://www.fertilitymemphis.com/our-team/william-h-kutteh-m-d-ph-d/

Thank you for your continued prayers and support!