Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today I'm 31! Woah! Hard to believe! But I don't really care about the number. I'm just so happy to be alive and healthy and happy!

It's been a GREAT day!!!

Last night I had a wonderful home cooked supper at Mama & Daddy's. Then we reminisced over my old scrapbooks & picture albums. Plus, I got a gift card to The Ol.ive Gar.den!

Jay woke me up this morning with a cake, candles, birthday banner, card, confetti & a big gift bag with a soft, fluffy robe inside!!!

And I spent the day with my mom, sister, & baby niece. We shopped, ate, & painted at a paint your own pottery shop. What fun!!! I also got a pretty glass cake stand from my sister & some money from my in-laws. My mother-in-law knows I love to shop! :) I plan to go to NY&Co.

I've already asked Jay if we can extend the celebrations through the coming weekend. He thought it was a good idea. :)


This is the necklace I made today at the paint your own pottery shop. We had a good laugh over how long it took me to paint it (a long time!). Hopefully it'll look better once it's been fired. :) But even if it doesn't, it was a lot of fun!

I was thrilled with the pretty cake stand my sister got me!

This is the cute card Jay got me. Notice the confetti he'd spread on the table. :)

Opening my card & gift card at Mama & Daddy's

Jay & I really enjoyed supper. Mama sure knows how to cook! I'd put her up against Paula Deen any day! :)

I'm so thankful for another year & pray that this is the best one yet!!!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Come on down...

Come on down! You're the next contestant on the Yard Sale is Right, and you could win one of these lovely prizes!

Actually, these are all the goodies I got yard-saleing on Friday. Let's see... Here's the stash:

2 flags to hang outside
an Old Navy skirt
a shabby chic chandelier (still in the packaging)
a book on Kentucky flower gardening
2 antique glass dishes
2 rooster trivets
an apple peeler
a white round thingy to roll dough on (not sure how this works, but hey, it was only $1!)

Grand total: $25.75

Even better: Time spent with my mom, sister & baby niece. :)

I LOVE going to yard sales! It's a new hobby of mine!

***********

I'm still feeling a bit like I need to get away from things, as I talked about a little in my last post. And I want to thank those of you who wrote me with your encouragement & your own experiences. It always helps just to know that somebody out there really understands.

I did have a good post-op visit yesterday with my ob/gyn which was helpful. I talked to him a little about some of the anxiety I've had, and he was very understanding. I also got a good report that everything looks good from the surgery.

My birthday is next Tuesday, so I think I'm also feeling better b/c I know I have some special celebrations coming up. :) It helps me to have fun things to plan for and look forward to. I may even go get a massage next week! I LOVE massages!

I look forward to the next couple of months while trying to conceive is on hold. Plus, we have a big beach vacation coming up soon!!!!! Woohoo!!!! Jay will finally ask off work for something OTHER THAN a surgery or doctor visit!!! Thank You, Lord!!

I'm still very optimistic & very hopeful. I'm so thankful for all my blessings, for I know that even my very breath comes from the Lord. And I still believe that one day I will hold my baby in my arms, whether biological or adoptive (hopefully both)! And I will be SO excited to share it with you & finally post pics of MY baby!!!! :)

God Bless You All. I hope you have a WONDERFUL day. Let's all try to see the blessings that the Lord has given us today.


Thursday, August 26, 2010

Apple Butter

Today the weather was beautiful here in southern KY. I also enjoyed making apple butter at my parents' house. It turned out really yummy!

I had some extra left over and not enough jars, so I'm thinking of using it for a pie filling. Maybe I'll do that tonight.

My post-op appointment is tomorrow. I don't have to go all the way back to Memphis for that. I'll just go to my ob/gyn. But just thinking of going to that office makes my stomach feel nervous. But it's just something I've got to do.

After you had your miscarriages, did any of you just feel like you needed to get away??

Sometimes it's hard for me b/c even the ring of my cell phone reminds me of my doctor's office calling. When it rings I get a funny feeling in my stomach. Some places or certain situations remind me of bad feelings.

Sometimes I feel like I need a break from it all for just a little while to reprogram my mind not to associate so many things with negative emotions.

I'm so thankful today that my God is the Lord God my Healer and that by His stripes I am healed!! Thank You, Father!

God Bless You All. I hope you're doing wonderfully! I often pray for you.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Post-Op Day 1

Feeling pretty good considering I just had surgery yesterday. I also got a dozen roses from Jay today!

Wednesday was our 3rd anniversary. And we didn't get to celebrate b/c we were in Memphis, preparing for my surgery. So we're planning on celebrating this weekend. The flowers were a sweet surprise.

So far I am doing wonderfully from the surgery (other than being very irritable). I don't think I've ever been so irritable. I'm blaming it on the pain medicine they gave me after surgery. But I'm not totally sure. I know it's getting better, though. Thank goodness! I know that Jay's happy about that too! :) Hopefully I'll be back to my old self tomorrow.

So I could actually see the septum on the pics my doctor gave me. It was very neat to actually SEE the problem and know that he fixed it. The septum tissue was white, and when he cut into it there was no bleeding. Once he'd cut through the septum to good tissue, then it began to bleed. That's how the doctor knew when to stop cutting. When he saw blood, he knew that he was into the good vascular uterine tissue.

My uterine cavity is now 25-30% bigger than it was before. It's normal!! Woohoo!

We are now on a 2 month break from trying to conceive. I really don't mind the wait. I need a break. I want some time to relax, refresh and enjoy life before delving back in to pregnancy tests, ovulation tests and thought of pregnancy and miscarriage.

My doctor also said that he estimates our chance of having a baby at 75%. I'm not sure exactly how he arrived at that number. I was still asleep as he was explaining everything to my family. But that's something I'll ask him more about at our follow-up appointment.

But I won't put too much stock in the numbers because I know that the Lord can do anything. However, I do think 75% is a great chance. And I'm thankful for that good report.

I'm SO relieved to have this surgery behind me!

I'm also waiting to hear the results from the long list of labs he did prior to surgery to further investigate the possible clotting disorder.

And then.... This is IT. All tests have been done. This is what it's come down to. The septum (which is now gone!!!) and a possible clotting disorder.

Tonight I'm very thankful that God has brought me this far. He's been very faithful to me, and I'm eternally grateful! I'm taking one step at a time with Him! :)

God Bless You all!

xoxo,
Birdie
creekjc @ nctc . com


Thursday, August 19, 2010

That Septum is Outta Here!!!

I'm already home from my surgery. It was a long couple of days. We spend the night in Memphis last night and got up early this morning to go to the surgery center.

The surgery was a success!!!!! THANK YOU, LORD!!!!!!

The septum is gone. Now I'll be healing for at least the next 2 months before trying to conceive again.

I'm SO thankful that I came through this surgery safely and that all went well.

God Bless you all. Thank you for your prayers. It means so much.

I would write more, but I'm still so tired from the anesthesia and the whole experience in general. So good night for now.

Thanking Jesus,
Birdie

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Results

THANK YOU, LORD!!! This morning I got the wonderful news that my mammogram was NORMAL!!!! I also got the news yesterday evening that the ultrasound was normal!!!! I am SO utterly relieved! I am so very grateful! This is one more thing that I can add to my list of answered prayers. Not only were the tests normal, but the Lord answered my prayers by being with me and giving me comfort and peace.

Yet, I know that somewhere in the world today a young woman was told that she does have breast cancer. I know that God loves that woman (or women) dearly. And I pray for them, that they would know God & feel His peace & presence surrounding them on all sides.

Now, I'm preparing for surgery tomorrow. I'm ready to get that septum out and move forward! Thank you for your prayers.

I hope you all have a wonderful day!

God Bless You

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Awaiting Results

I really hate waiting for results!

This afternoon I went to the clinic and had my mammogram and ultrasound. The mammogram really wasn't bad. I had some fear that it would hurt, but there was really nothing to it.

**ALERT!! I JUST GOT A CALL FROM MY DR'S OFFICE**

Okay, I just learned that my breast ultrasound was NEGATIVE!!!!!!!! She said that means that it was normal, no masses, no abnormalities!!!

BUT they still do not have the mammogram results yet. She will call me as soon as they get them tomorrow.

Any words of wisdom? Your own experience? From what I've read, ultrasound is actually more reliable in young women anyway. So I think this is a GREAT sign!!!!! Although, I will feel more relieved once I hear that the mammogram is normal too!

THANK YOU, LORD!!!!!!!! I am almost ready to dance & shout!!! :)

Please keep praying for continued good results.

I thank the Lord for this answered prayer!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Tomorrow's Mammogram & Ultrasound

I am so thankful for strength from God. Having a mammogram & ultrasound on Tuesday to make sure I don't have breast cancer and then surgery on Thursday (and in a city four hours away) is a lot to go through.

YET...

I know that He sustains me. I keep praying and leaning on Him. I couldn't make it without the Lord!

Please do keep me in your prayers. I'm hoping that by this time next week:

1) I will know that the breast lumps were merely cysts and nothing to worry about and
2) that the surgery was a huge success!


I also want to share that Jay & I hosted a prayer meeting at our house Friday night. We had around 16 people come, and I baked and made snacks all day long. It was a HIT! Everybody loved the food, and I felt such a sense of accomplishment. I love hosting & baking. What fun!! And we also had a wonderful time of prayer and a very encouraging message. It was just what I needed.

xoxo

Have a great day!

I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds. Psalms 77:11-12

Friday, August 13, 2010

Home Visit #1

This morning we had our first home visit with our social worker. We are on our way to becoming foster/adoptive parents. We are taking this slowly and one day at a time. Still, I am excited to see what's to come!

In other news, I'm still scheduled for the mammogram & ultrasound next week. Then on Thursday is my surgery to remove the uterine septum.

Please do keep me in your prayers. I appreciate it so much.

I have a lot of anxiety about the mammogram & ultrasound results and also the surgery. But I keep trusting the Lord, and I know He's with me!

I hope you all have a wonderful day!!!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Foster/Adoptive Mom

Well, so much has been going on lately that I've neglected to share some important information!!!

Tomorrow morning Jay & I will have our first home study to become foster/adoptive parents!!

This is the first big step (after taking the classes & turning in the paperwork) to move towards approval.

As I've mentioned before, 2 of my darling nieces were adopted through foster care. Jay & I love them so much, and we are huge fans of adoption!

The social worker is coming bright & early in the morning. I'll let you know how it goes!!

God Bless You All! Thank you so much for reading my blog! :)

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Fibrocystic Breasts

Have any of you ever found a lump in your breast? Multiple lumps?

Well, I recently did. I did a breast exam, on a whim, after my last miscarriage. It was the first one I had done in years. To my horror, I discovered multiple lumps. I daily fought against fear, wondering if I could possibly have breast cancer.

I am only 30 (almost 31). I did lots of research, and my lumps appear to be cysts. They are mostly mobile and rounded. And breast cancer does not run in my family.

Still, I went to my ob/gyn. He felt them and said that I have fibrocystic breast changes and that he felt nothing worrisome. That was last month.

I was relieved for a few days.

Then I began to think crazy thoughts again. What if my doctor is wrong? What if I have something terribly wrong? I know the chances are slim. But I mean, I've already had 4 miscarriages. What were the chances of that happening?

Fear began to take hold. I was daily battling these thoughts and fears, praying & asking God to help me and set me free from fear. I have obsessively done breast exams almost daily & sometimes multiple times a day. I have battled against anxiety, struggling to catch my breath at times, on the verge of a panic attack.

So my husband insisted that I go back to the doctor for more answers.

That's what I did today.

I went back to my ob/gyn and explained to him that I've been very fearful. I asked him to examine me again & explain WHY he doesn't think these lumps are worrisome and WHY he believes they are cysts.

So he examined me again, noted several lumps in both breasts (particularly the left), listened to my symptoms and (this is the part I'm very unhappy about...)

ordered a mammogram and ultrasound.

I DO NOT WANT MORE TESTING DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everything within me is SO over the tests and the doctor visits and the waiting and the upset stomach from being so nervous.

But I prayed before I went that God would lead my doctor and that the right thing would be done and that I would trust whatever he said and be at peace about it.

My doctor doesn't think I have breast cancer. But he said that I should get the testing done just to be sure. If I don't, then he and I will both have a nagging feeling of worry. He said that once I get the tests done, then I will feel relieved.

I know that's true.

But he also said something else that was terrible to hear:

"If you do get these tests done and they show something, then I will refer you to a surgeon."

WHAT?!!!! A SURGEON????????????!

I am already having surgery next week to remove the septum. This will be my 3rd surgery in less than a year. I just had my 4th miscarriage. And now THIS??

These are some of the thoughts that I have had this evening. My stomach has also felt very upset and burning (like on the first day of school or before you have to speak in front of a large crowd).

YET, I'm SO thankful for that sweet peace that passes understanding that comes from the Lord.

The Lord has given me a peace and calm this evening that took away my fears. I know that I will go through nothing without Him. He will never leave me or forsake me. And compared to what some are going through right now, this is such a small trial. And besides that, God reminded me that He knows when I will die. He knows His plans for me. He is surprised by nothing. And even if someone is the healthiest person in the world, they can die suddenly in an accident or by some other means. So my hope is not in my health. My hope is in the Lord. And no matter what happens, whether I die tomorrow or whether I die when I am 100 years old, what really matters is that I will spend ETERNITY with Jesus. This life is but a little while. Eternity is forever and ever and ever. I'm so thankful that I have salvation and that I know I will be with Jesus forever. How sweet it is!!!

Please do still pray for me. I often pray for you, my blog friends as well.

As always, feel free to email me as well: creekjc @ nctc . com

Blessings to You!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Septum

Well, as far as septums go, some are tall & skinny and some are short and fat - just like people. That's what my new RE who specializes in RPL said to me when he called on Saturday morning. "And yours is short & fat," he went on to say.

So that's why it has been misdiagnosed. It basically extends all the way across the top of my uterus. (For those of you unfamiliar with
septums, a septum is basically extra tissue in your uterus that does not have good blood supply. So if the baby implants there, it cannot develop properly.) Several doctors have seen this and said things like, "It looks septum-like, but I see no evidence of a septum." I've also been told that I have an arcuate shaped uterus. And with my last pregnancy (and subsequent miscarriage), there was some debate over whether I had a cornual ectopic or whether it just looked that way b/c of the shape of my uterus.

All of these comments and debate sent warning bells off for my new RE. And upon further investigation (doing a 3-D ultrasound of my uterus & reviewing my HSG films) he believes that I do indeed have a septum. And he wants to get it out of there!!!

There was also a lab value that was a little abnormal. It was the lupus anticoagulant. So he's going to do a slew of other labs when I come down to Memphis for my surgery to further investigate that abnormal lab.

He said that this is IT! This is what we've narrowed it down to - the septum and the possible clotting factor. Beyond this, I don't think there's anything more to be tested for. Everything else has come back normal.

So how do I feel about all this???

Well, if I could have the surgery done tomorrow, I would. I am SO ready to have this over and done with.

Am I excited??

I'll admit that I'm a little excited. I do have some hope. But I'm not going to get all excited and think that the mysteries of my RPL are solves and done with. I'm hoping & praying that's the case. But I will not allow myself to get too excited, only to be disappointed and devastated. So I'm taking this one step at a time.

Surgery is in less than 3 weeks!

In the meantime, here's what I've been doing lately:



I've been working in the hot KY humidity, weeding my flowers. The weeds had just about taken over, but this week I got them all cleaned up! And surprise! I loved it when I went out one day and there was a beautiful RESURRECTION lily. It made my day and reminded me of the power of Jesus and how he can bring life & hope where there seems to be none.
















Jay & I visited a local orchard. I LOVE going there! I got a 1/2 bushel of yummy, sweet, ripe peaches!











Can you find the sweet little kitty cat hidden amongst all the peaches at the orchard? :)























When I got home I had a lot of peeling to do! But it was worth it!

















Look how lovely my canned peaches turned out (with the help of my mom!!). :)





















And here are my peach preserves along with some blackberry jam that I made a few weeks ago all by myself!













I want you to leave you with a verse I've been quoting a lot lately: For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

God bless you all!!! And, as always, if you are unable to leave a comment on my blog, feel free to email me at creekjc @ nctc. com