Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Trying for Baby....Again

Yesterday hubby & I drove all the way to Memphis, Tennessee to see my recurrent pregnancy loss specialist. I was nervous!!! And I really didn't want to go at all. I'm sure some of you can relate. I'm not to the point yet where I really even want to THINK about getting pregnant again. That feeling is thanks to four consecutive miscarriages.

Miscarriage has brought a lot of fear to me when I think of having a baby. It's come to the place where it's hard to ever even actually imagine having a baby. Sometimes it seems like it's even silly to hope that it will end any differently and that I could actually bring a healthy baby home instead of being heartbroken. BUT I know that's NOT the truth!!! And I'm choosing to step out in faith and believe that it could be different. I'm going to put myself out there again and try once more. Yes, it's scary. But I know that God's in control, and I'm choosing to trust Him and lead where He follows....

So I want to give y'all an update on my appointment.

First of all, Dr. K spent a lot of time with me. He answered all of my questions, and I didn't feel rushed AT ALL. I LOVE that!!

As you may remember, Dr. K removed my septum in August. This was my follow up appointment, with details on the Next Step.

I've had 2 cycles, so we are ready to begin trying again.

First, I'm going to have a progesterone level drawn on Friday. If that level is good, then I won't take Clomid. If it's low, he'll give me Clomid. The reason for Clomid is that it increases your body's progesterone production, helping to lower the risk of miscarriage. Then I would begin progesterone when I got a positive pregnancy test.

OR, if I choose not to take the Clomid then I can start using vaginal progesterone when I have a positive ovulation test. If I don't get pregnant that cycle I'll stop the progesterone on the first day of my cycle.

Dr. K says that he gives progesterone to virtually every woman who comes through his practice. Why not? It's natural, it's not too expensive, and it's not harmful. So why not go ahead and give it just in case?

Also, he said that vaginal progesterone is much better absorbed by the body than oral progesterone. You have to take 6 times the amount of oral progesterone to be as effective as the vaginal progesterone.

The only drawback to the vaginal progesterone? I don't like it one bit because after it melts it oozes out and mimics the feel of bleeding. It caused me plenty of heart palpitations with my last pregnancy!!!!! Not looking forward to that again. But if it might help, then I want to try it!

So, the next step is the progesterone level check on Friday. After that, we'll know if I need Clomid or not and know when to begin the progesterone. And we'll be free to try to conceive.


Dr. K also estimates my chances at having a baby at 75%. He believes that I am now in the same percentage range as other women my age.

This man is a GREAT doctor. There are many articles on the walls where he has been interviewed and written about. There are also various magazine covers on the walls and many mentions of him being one of the nation's top doctors. And in my experience, he has been very thorough, knowledgeable and caring.

He told me that at this point I can feel comfortable in knowing that I have seen some very good doctors and had everything that can be done for me. We have done all we do. And I do have peace in that. If I hadn't pursued it further and gone to him and given it one last effort, I think I would have always felt that I should have given it one more chance.

He was also very encouraging and believes that I should be optimistic.

SO, it looks like pretty soon Jay and I will be on the road to trying to conceive again. And I'm hoping and praying that this time it will truly be different!!! I KNOW it can be! I've seen other women like me who are now holding their babies. I can't let this fear overtake me. I'm going to be brave, holding on to Jesus, walking this path that He has laid out for me.

I hope you'll follow me on this exciting journey!!!

I've got some more blog posts I really want to write. I've still been thinking of finishing up telling my miscarriage stories. I'd also love to tell more about our wonderful experience in foster care so far. I hope I can encourage more women to consider fostering and/or adoption.

God Bless You All!! I hope you have a great week!


Stacey said...

Hello sweet friend! I have had so much catching up to do on your blog. Today I've been reading about the joy that fostering has brought you (how wonderful!), and the sorrow of your miscarriages. I still have a few posts to go but had to comment on this one.

First I want to encourage you to hope. I know we don't all walk the exact same path, but I remember having those feelings that I shouldn't even bother after so many losses. I'm so grateful now that I kept going when I wanted to give up. Oh I hope for you (and with you) that your wait won't be much longer!

Sounds like your doctor is optimistic, which is so great. When we were in the early days of my most recent pregnancy, I asked my doc if I should be hopeful in spite of my history with loss. He said, "Absolutely," and it meant a great deal to me.

Just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and I'm still here praying and reading and supporting you! Sending big hugs and LOTS of hope.

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