Sunday, April 25, 2010


Since our miscarriage in October last year, my husband & I have been on a long break from trying to conceive. Because it was my 3rd miscarriage I began undergoing testing. I've been poked, prodded, examined, seen 3 different doctors, had an HSG (which was normal!!), & once had 10 tubes of blood taken from me at one visit! I've had months of waiting... waiting for this appointment, waiting for that result, waiting waiting waiting! And after 6 long months and nothing but normal results, we are FINALLY trying to conceive again.

Six months is a LONG time when you're 30 years old & haven't had your first child yet. Six months is a LONG time when you've been trying to have a baby for 2 1/2 years. Six months is a LONG time when your dream is to be a mom, when you're longing to hold your baby in your arms & when you're watching so many of your friends become moms. I'm so happy for them. Thankfully, the Lord has helped me to not be bitter (most of the time). I do have moments of sadness & heartache, though. It's especially hard for me when I remember my last baby. I had heard his or her little heart beat on that terrible day spent in the emergency room. That was the only baby where I was far enough along to hear a heartbeat. It's very painful for me to think about so that I can barely even write about it. BUT I can say with FULL confidence that my baby is with Jesus!!! He or she is safe & happy, and for that I am so grateful. I know that I'll see him or her someday. I don't understand it all now. But the Lord knows. At times like these, I just put my trust in Him... Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus!

So now... here we are 6 months after my 3rd miscarriage, waiting again. This time I'm not waiting for tests or appointments. I'm one week past my positive ovulation test, and I'm waiting to see if this is the month that God will bless us with the baby we have been praying for for so long.

This was my first month on Clomid. I'm hoping that it did the trick!! We'll know in about a week and a half.

Until then, I'll keep trusting my Father & praying for that sweet baby! I'm hoping this is my time!! And if you're longing for a baby, I'm hoping that it's your time too! I know that so many of us are longing for motherhood. Hang on to Jesus & trust Him!

If you don't know Him, you need Him! If you haven't received salvation, He is waiting for you to come to Him, believe in Him, confess your sins to Him, & ask Him to forgive you and be the Lord of your life! It's the most important decision in life.

I'll keep you updated on how this month progresses. But with trying to conceive after 3 miscarriages, there is a lot of fear that tries to wiggle its way in to my head & heart. Yet, God is restoring my hope after a long time in the desert. Thank You, Lord!!


Stacey said...

Birdie, you are so precious! Let me encourage you to keep that hope alive and keep trusting in the One who loves you and knows you best! You can rest assured that your sweet babies are safe in the arms of Jesus right now. <3

I know it's so hard when the months begin to add up and you are waiting for another chance. And seeking another pregnancy after losses is not exactly worry-free, but God is walking with you, my friend. You are never alone on this journey! Oh, how I pray that this month will be your time. I can't wait to rejoice with you!

Birdie said...

Stacey, thank you so much. You're so encouraging!! I so appreciate your comments. They always brighten my day. :)

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