His Grace is Sufficient

Thank you Thank you Thank you!! I really appreciate all of your helpful comments on my last post. I am going to check into these tips! Thankfully, his face is getting much better after using hydrocortisone and aquaphor. But I'm trying to research as much as possible and figure out ways to help keep this under control! I am especially interested in natural approaches.

Speaking of Little Guy.... For those of you who don't know, he is our little 1 month old foster baby. I am desperately in love with him! After 4 miscarriages and wanting a baby for so long now, it's tempting for me to think that he is MY baby. But, as much as it pains me to say it, he's not. He's not adopted. He's in my care, but he's not mine.

On Tuesday it hit me: He could leave us. And boy, it was like a punch in the stomach.

It would be very easy for me to get overwhelmed by this. It would be easy for me to let my mind dwell on the fact that he may leave me. But I am trusting God with all my heart, knowing that He is in control. And I'm praying every day that the right thing for the baby would be done. God sees the future, and I'm petitioning daily on behalf of this precious little one.

It's tough being a foster mom. Not only do we have Little Guy, but we also have Big Guy. He's our precious almost 3 year old. We love him so much. He is likely going home next month, and he has been with us for 5 months. What will I do the day he leaves? I imagine it being filled with tears. And to be honest, I just can't even go there in my mind right now. But I know, without a doubt, that God is going to be there with me. And I know that we've done what He asked us to do.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9. Yes, Lord, I'm weak, but You're strong. And You're going to help me through.

In the meantime, if you're thinking of fostering or adopting, please don't let fear paralyze you. There are so many children out there who need us!

Natural Remedies

I took Little Guy for a check up today. On December 14th he weighed 6 lb. 12oz. & was 19 inches long. He's now grown to 10 lb. 8 oz. and is 22 inches long!!! Oh my! It's so sweet to see the fruits of my labor. haha! But seriously, it truly is wonderful to see proof that all of those feedings & cuddles are helping him to grow strong! :)

Unfortunately, though, the doctor thinks he has eczema. His poor little face is broken out so badly. Do any of you have any natural remedies or anything that worked really well for y'all? I got some info and products from the doctor today, but I wanted to consult with you as well.

Now, I'm going go try to get in a little nap while Big Guy & Little Guy are both sleeping!!

Hip Hip Hooray!!!

It worked!! I'm so excited that my blog friends can now leave comments on my blog!! :) Thanks to all who left comments on my last post. I look forward to being in touch with all of you!!!! :)

Leave Me a Comment :)

Many readers have told me that they cannot leave comments on my blog. So one of my sweet blog friends told me how to fix it. I hope it worked!! So if you've had trouble in the past, try to leave me a comment and see if it works! :) Thanks, and I can't wait to hear from you!!! :)

No Need to Order Pregnancy Tests

I started my cycle a few days earlier than expected. So no need to buy more tests and obsess over testing this month!! There's always next month! ha

I was disappointed. But I try to take it in stride and just think, "Well, it must not have been the right time..." Besides that, it's a little bit of a relief way down deep inside to know that I won't be on pins and needles or be tempted to worry myself sick this month over whether or not I'll miscarry.

Big Guy & Little Guy are still doing wonderfully! But I would like to know if any of you have any advice on getting a one month old to sleep at night! Sometimes he's wide awake at night. Other times he's sleepy but will only sleep in my arms or if I'm lying beside of him. If I get up or put him down he's wide awake.

I hope y'all are all doing well. Two of my BFFs are visiting tomorrow from out of town, so I'm very excited! Looks like it will be a great weekend!

Time to Test

Yes, it's that time again. Time to pull out the ol' pregnancy tests. The only problem is that I used the last 2 when it was too early to even test. But I just couldn't resist. I thought there was a chance I might get a positive. Guess that means I'll have to order some online. And in the meantime, I can't obsess over taking the tests b/c I won't have any!

In other news, I feel just sick this morning. I am one day late on paying off a credit card. It's one of those kind where if you pay it on time every month for a big purchase & get it paid off in a year, then you won't be charged any interest. But if you're late, you'll be charged 22%.

We were doing so great on getting it paid off. And then my heart sunk when I realized I was less than 24 hours late!!!!! But late is late. I wrote them an email begging them to please not charge me.

I blame it on my lack of sleep. Which reminds me - Little Guy was awake from 3-6 a.m. this morning. That was after I'd fed him at 12:30 a.m. and then I couldn't go back to sleep for a while. I was so exhausted that I finally broke down crying. The pacifier kept popping out of his mouth and he would cry. If I laid him down he would cry. And part of the time he was just wide awake, with those big brown eyes! ha! I can laugh about it now! I'm praying for a better night tonight!

And speaking of Little Guy, HAPPY ONE MONTH BIRTHDAY, sweet baby!!! I can't believe he's a month old already. His little cheeks have filled out, and he's a little doll baby. We still don't know if we'll get to adopt him. That's what is SO hard about foster care. We won't know for some time, until they see if his birth mom is making progress or not.

Well, I've got to get this house cleaned up! It looks like a tornado hit! Have a great weekend, All!

Sleep Deprivation

When Little Guy came home from the hospital all he did was eat and sleep.

Now he's decided that he likes to sleep during the daytime. But when 8 or 9 p.m. rolls around he's ready to rock 'n roll!!! ha! And I haven't been this sleep deprived since college!

I've also had extreme cabin fever lately. I've barely been out of the house b/c I've been taking care of Big Guy & Little Guy (which I love!). Plus, we've been snowed in! Okay, if you don't live in the South, you're probably imagining a foot of snow. But if you live in the South you know that being snowed in could mean only an inch or two. There are a lot of hills and hollers in southern Kentucky, and a little snow means getting to the grocery and stocking up on milk and bread and staying inside (unless you've got a 4 wheel drive!). So I've been in with the kids getting almost desperate for some shopping or a little time to myself. And I got in yesterday!!! I shopped til I dropped. Well, not literally. But my feet were hurting by the time I was done!

I shopped at Tar.get, The.Child.ren's Place, Hob.by Lobby, NY.&Co, Kr.oger, & ToysR.Us. I got some GREAT deals - mostly things for the kids. But that retail therapy was just what I needed!

3 Peas in a Pod - Me & My Little Buddies

Group hug!!!! I LOVE these boys!!! My life will never be the same!

Being a foster mom is one of the greatest experiences of my life.

Jay & I are also TTC. This month we actually "tried"... For those of you on the TTC bandwagon, you know what that means - ovulation tests and "perfect" timing. We'll know if this is THE month in the next couple of weeks. Thankfully I'll be busy with the boys so that I don't obsess over it.

I'm praying that 2011 holds NO miscarriages!! In fact, I hope that I NEVER experience another one.

I'm hoping that our household continues to grow. I used to say I wanted at least four kids and maybe even 5 or 6. But then I began to think it couldn't possibly happen. But now.... Now I have hope again that I just may have that big family after all. :)

I'm also hoping the same for you, my sweet blog friends who are dealing with RPL or IF!!

Two Christmas Presents Who Hold My Heart

Being a foster parent is like being on a roller coaster....

Will we get to keep the baby?

Is he going to be ours?

Should I call myself Mommy?

Is this temporary?

Am I going to be heartbroken?

The only thing that's sure is that we are giving these sweet ones a good home when they need it most! The rest is in God's hands.

The top picture is of me feeding Little Guy not long after he came to our home. It's not the best pic, but I had to find one that didn't show his little darling face. :) And I SO wish I should show you b/c he's ADORABLE!!

The bottom pic is Big Guy on the left and my little niece on the right. She & Big Guy are big buddies. A really cool thing is that she was adopted through foster care by my sister as an infant. Little sweetie was 4 pounds when they brought her home from the hospital, and look at her now! She's only 3, and look at that hair!!

These 2 boys have changed my life forever. I'm so in love with them both. But I have to keep reminding myself that Big Guy will probably return home soon. And Little Guy... Well, we just don't know. With foster care, it depends on whether or not the parents do what they need to do to get their lives straightened out so that they can parent. Only time will tell.

My heart is so wrapped up in these 2 precious ones. I love them as if they'd been born to me. Yet, I've got to keep trusting God with all my heart, knowing that He is in control and asking that the best for the KIDS would be done. He can see out into eternity, and He knows if they are going to have a chance in life. He knows if they are going to have the chance to learn about Him and know Him as they get older. I just keep asking Him, "God, if you see that these kids aren't going to have a chance, please intervene." And then I've got to let go and leave it in His hands, knowing that He is going to be faithful.

Will I be heartbroken when/if they go? I'm sure. But will God help me through it? I'm sure.

In the meantime, Jay & I are back on the TTC bandwagon. For those of you who may be new to my blog, my 4th miscarriage was spring 2010. Since then I've been to the specialist in Memphis, had surgery to remove a septum, and now we are trying again. It's a scary place to be. Last night I was lying in bed and the fear came to me, "What are you doing?!! Are you ready for another miscarriage? Do you really want to go through that again?!"

But I've just got to try....at least one more time now that I've had the surgery. It's all in God's hands, and I can't let fear rule me.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I know that if you are dealing with infertility or recurrent pregnancy loss, the holidays can be VERY hard. I didn't know how I would handle this year without a child. I prayed for a baby by Christmas. I thought that would be impossible b/c I wasn't pregnant. But God answered my prayer in an unexpected way. We got to celebrate with 2 kids this year, and I can tell you that it was the best Christmas ever!