But God...

Dear Blog Friends,

I haven't posted lately b/c I've had a lot on my mind with Little Guy. Little Guy is our nearly 5 month old foster son. He came into our home at 6 days old and has been with me nearly 24/7 ever since. I became his mommy, and it looked so favorable that we would adopt. His birth mom wants us to adopt. She knows he is best with us.

However, 2 weeks ago the birth father appeared in the picture. Just last night I found out that he has brought forth a distant family member who wants Little Guy. As a foster parent, we have no rights. Unless God intervenes, Little Guy will leave our home in about 45 - 90 days. That is the time it will take to do all the evaluations on the relative.

I know that I have not talked about Little Guy a lot on this blog. That's simply b/c I'm not allowed to post pics of his face or give too many details. So I have just steered clear for the most part. But don't let that fool you into thinking that he has not been my life for the past 5 months. He is (in my heart) my baby, my little son. He is attached and bonded to me. I tell him all the time that he is my little best friend. We're together all the time. I stay home with him, and day in and day out we are playing, reading books, I'm feeding him bottles, giving him baths.... Everything any mom would do. I tell him all the time, "Mommy loves you." When it's time to nap I put him down and say, "It's time to rest. Mommy loves you." He still sleeps in the bassinet beside our bed, and I still check him every night to make sure he's breathing...

And yet GOD....

God is giving me peace. I can't explain it. I only know that were it not for Him I would be going crazy right now. I couldn't take it. I would be frantic, hysterical, probably on my way to a breakdown. But God...

But God is my strength. I've prayed to Him daily, sometimes hourly... A prayer is never far from my lips and always in my heart that Little Guy will be ours. I will NOT stop asking God to intervene. But I know that in the end, whatever happens, I must accept it and continue to love Him and trust Him.

I'm looking at this sweet baby right now. Sweet little thing....

God, above all, protect this sweet child of yours. Protect his little heart. And may He grow up to know You and love You and live for You with all his heart!