Sunday, February 20, 2011

I Had to Turn Down a Baby

First of all, let me say thanks for the comments I've been getting on my blog. It's always so encouraging! :) I have not started taking Mucinex yet. It's so expensive for a box! But I'll probably get some in the next couple of days and get started on it.

Well, did my title catch your eye? Yes, it's true: I turned down a baby last week. Not only one baby but.... Well, let me just start at the beginning.

As a foster family, we never know when we will welcome a child into our home. It could happen any day. Literally, we may get a call from the social worker telling us about a child and asking if we can take them and within a couple of hours they will be in our home.

With Big Guy, we knew a few days in advance. With Little Guy, they called us that morning and by that afternoon I was sitting on my couch holding a newborn baby!!

Well, last week I was here at home taking care of the kids when I got a phone call. It went something like this:

"Birdie, this your social worker. You're going to hate me..."


"Well, I've got a 3 month old baby that needs to be placed today. Would you be able to take her?"

Everything in me wanted to say YES!!!!!!!!! I knew that I could do it. But I knew in my heart that I couldn't do it well - not with already caring for a 2 month old and a 3 year old.

But oh wait, it gets even better....

"Birdie, here's the real kicker: The mom is pregnant again. So if the 3 month old is still in care when her sibling is born, that baby would come to you too."

WHAT??!!! Are you kidding me??!!! I've gone from 4 miscarriages and trying to have a baby since 2007 to a 3 year old, 2 month old, 3 month old and a baby on the way????!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you know how much it grieved me to say no???!

But I had to say no because I just knew that it would be too much for me right now. And the social worker was VERY understanding. She said, "I'll be honest with you. I couldn't do it. But I wanted to offer you the chance."

If I had only Little Guy right now I would have probably said yes. I've always wanted twins anyway! :) But Big Guy is still with us for a few more weeks, so I just knew in my heart that it wasn't the right timing. I didn't have peace. Neither did Jay.

It wasn't long until the social worker found another good home for the baby. The couple doesn't have any kids, and they were thrilled! I'm so thankful for that!! I prayed that God would place her in a wonderful home where she would be well taken care of.

But wait! My story doesn't stop there!....

A few days later I got another call out of the blue:

"Birdie, have you ever thought about fostering medically fragile children? I know you're a nurse, and we've got a 3 year old that's coming into care today."

She told me in depth about this sweet little girl and her medical problems but how the doctor thinks she would do really well with someone who could provide good care. But I just knew that I couldn't provide so much one on one care right now with Big Guy & Little Guy both in our home. Again, they were very understanding. For now she will go to a convalescent home until she is more stable. Then they might contact me in a few weeks after Big Guy is back in his parents' custody.

Ladies, there were NO available foster homes to take this precious little girl! All of the homes trained for medically fragile children are full.

Again, my heart was so heavy. And I prayed for this precious little girl to receive good care and the love & attention that she so desperately needs.

Being a foster mom is like being on a roller coaster in so many ways. You never know when you'll get the call. But, in our experience, you can always be sure that a call will be coming. We found out about Big Guy the very same day that we were approved to be foster parents back in September. And since September, we have had 3 children in our home plus 2 more that we couldn't accept. You never know when it will lead to adoption, but we know of SO many foster families that have adopted.

We are still praying daily for Little Guy. I am SO in love with him. I am the only mother he knows. And I know that I couldn't love him any more than if I'd given birth to him. We also love Big Guy but have peace in knowing that he will be returning to his parents soon. And we're so thankful that we'll still get to see him because they are going to allow him to still attend church with us.

Daily I find rest in knowing that God hears my petitions, and He is in control!! I'm SO thankful that it's not up to me to work it all out. I trust in Him.


Amazing Life said...

Hi Birdie,
What a story! I know that must have been hard.

I did take mucinex when we conceived in March 2009. I was also taking something called Fertile CM. Have you heard of this? I also took it when we conceived in 2010. That pregnancy led to a beautiful baby boy.

Let me know if you can't find the website for it, it worked wonders for us. Praying for your family!

E said...

Oh my gosh!! A 3 month old baby and another on the way? That's horrible. I mean that the birth mother can't even take care of the one she has.

I'm sure your sw calls you first because she knows the foster chilren will get the best of care. ;)

Jessica said...

I agree with E! You seem to be a fabulous foster mother to these kids!!

Just Believing said...

I am sure that had to be so hard but you are so smart to know your own limitations and not overwhlem yourselves cuz if mama aint happy nobody happy :)

Thinking of you though and praying for all the sweet babes whose paths cross with you :)

J said...

I'm so proud of you for not biting off more than you can chew. I'm so happy the baby went to a baby who didn't have any children and now their lives are filled with the joy of a baby. I'm going to pray the little girl finds a home.

Lynette said...

Simply sending loving prayers for you.

Anonymous said...

You are amazing! No wonder you are the first person to come to mind when these babies need a family - Big Guy and Little Guy are thriving under your care!

Good luck with the Mucinex! I hope it works its magic! :-)

- Erin B.

Birdie said...

Thank you for all the sweet comments, ladies!!! :) You're so encouraging!

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