Waiting

Waiting....I've done a lot of that in the last few years.

First, Jay & I waited for a year to get married while I was in Asia and he was back here in the U.S. It was agonizing at times, and time seem to creep by SO slowly!! Some days it felt as if we'd never be together again. But here we are, married 3 years. And despite the 4 miscarriages, it's been a wonderful 3 years spent with Jay.

Since getting married I've spent a lot of time waiting as well. I've been waiting for the right time to take a pregnancy test, waiting for a positive ovulation test, waiting for a doctors' appointment, waiting for surgery, waiting to know if our baby would be okay, waiting for my body to heal, waiting to try again....

And here I am waiting again after 4 miscarriages and 3 surgeries. This time I'm waiting to see if the specialist was right. Were the losses really caused by a septum in my uterus that other doctors missed? Was the surgery a success? Will I be able to carry our baby in a normal pregnancy? I'm waiting for the doctor to tell me, "You can try again."

But this time I really don't mind the waiting.

In fact, I am SO thankful that I can just wait. No plans, no dates, no pressure. I'm just resting. I'm just content, knowing that I can't try right now even if I wanted to. I have no choice but to wait.

Oh, what a wonderful feeling it is to be able to think of other things like baking and cooking and traveling and seeing friends and spending time with family. What a blessing it is to not be going into surgery or to be obsessively checking myself in the bathroom to see if I'm bleeding.

And I don't feel guilty for waiting because I can't do anything else right now. I'm under strict orders from the doctor to not "even THINK about getting pregnant right now!" So that's that. I can't do anything about this period of waiting, so I'm going to enjoy it to the fullest!!!

I'm looking outside my window right now, and what a beautiful day it is! Fall is my favorite time of year. I'm looking forward to waiting & resting over these next few weeks while I eat caramel apples and see beautiful leaves and bright orange pumpkins and blooming mums. I'm looking forward to visiting the apple orchard with Jay and sitting down to a good book. I'm looking forward to drinking hot chocolate and baking a homemade dessert. I'm looking forward to running in our neighborhood with Jay...

I hope y'all enjoy your day today. Do something you love! And if you're like me and still waiting on that precious baby, take advantage of the waiting time. Do things you enjoy. If you can, do something you've always wanted to do. Go with your husband on that trip or read that good book that you never make time for.

I'll be posting about my little adventures over the coming weeks. Stay tuned for: a made-from-scratch recipe that I created, a week at the beach, redecorating my house & maybe even a book review. :)

God Bless You All! I often pray for you, my blog friends.

Your friend,

Birdie

creekjc at nctc dot com