Kicking Pains - Normal?

So I'm almost 23 weeks along now. And just recently our baby has started kicking me in what feels like my cervix. I need to know if what I'm feeling is normal!

So I'll feel her moving around in there, and then BAM! There'll be a little shooting pain (sometimes I describe it as a *zing!*) that shoots through me and feels like it's my cervix. It sort of reminds me of the pain of that little brush when the gyn does a pap smear. But it's a little more painful than that.

Is this normal?? Has anybody else had these pains??

Family Talk Broadcast

If you're dealing with recurrent pregnancy loss, would you like to hear from someone who understands where you are or where you've been?

Or if you have a loved on dealing with RPL, maybe you'd like to know how you can comfort them and encourage them.

I recently found this broadcast on Family Talk, and it's GREAT!!! I hope it's an encouragement to you!

Family Talk Broadcast

xoxo,

Birdie

Missing Him

We said goodbye to our Little Guy Friday morning. It was painful. But I'm still in awe that God gave us the strength to do it. This was one of those things that a couple of months ago I thought I would never be able to do. It's amazing how God enables us to go through the things He's brought us to.

I miss Baby so much, though. I've thought about him so many times over the weekend and wondered how he is and what he's doing. Last night I just lay in bed and remembered his little curly hair, soft skin and smile... *sigh* I couldn't help but shed a few tears last night before I fell asleep, thinking of him.

I continue to trust the Lord, though. I know there was a reason for his leaving. And I take GREAT comfort in knowing that he is with a good family. I couldn't bear to know that he was with a family that wouldn't love him. But I truly believe that with this family he will be loved, taken to church, cared for and will receive all the best opportunities in life.

At one time I thought he would be mine. And even though he's not, I will never stop loving him or praying for him...

Today begins a few chapter. It's the first week that I'll be home again with just me and no children in almost a year (since we started foster care last September). Today I will begin to prepare for the baby that I longed for for so long. I am now 22 weeks pregnant. Can you believe it?! Thank You, Lord!! It's been a long, hard journey. And we still have a ways to go. But I'm so thankful to be this far. And now I'm going to start thinking about nursery colors and bedding and little pink clothes.

Before I got pregnant with this little girl I was to the place that I was just about ready to give up. I had been to an RE that didn't help me, spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars (maybe thousands), been through surgeries and was just about ready to be done with it all! I felt so burned out.

But then I just knew deep down in my heart that I wasn't quite ready for that yet. I felt like before I could have peace about stopping the pursuit that I needed to explore one more option. I had to drive 4 hours to get there, Jay had to take a day off work, and it included another surgery which meant another day off for Jay and a night spent in a hotel. But I knew in my heart that it was what I needed to do. And I'm SO incredibly thankful that we are now 22 weeks along with our little girl! Sometimes it still seems so surreal. And I definitely am aware that I am only a little over halfway there. I still struggle with thoughts and fears related to miscarriage (after going through it 4 times!!). But I just keep trusting, hoping, and moving forward.

Thank you for all your continued prayers and support. It really means so much to me. I hope that my story can bring some hope to you.

Leaving Us

After welcoming Little Guy into our home at 6 days old, loving him as my own child, watching him grow and flourish to be almost 7 months old, he will be leaving our home and going to live with a family member in a few days. The decision has been made, the plans are set, and we are preparing our hearts to say goodbye.

I am comforted in knowing that he is going to a good home. I believe they will love him and teach him about the Lord. Still, my heart aches. But God has given me peace.

Thank you for your prayers. I know it's going to be tough.

Finally....My Belly Pic!

So here I am! My husband took this tonight. I will be 21 weeks on Saturday, and I definitely have the bump now!!

Sometimes it still seems so surreal. I practically have to pinch myself! Today I signed up for prenatal classes at the hospital to learn about labor and delivery. It's so hard to believe that I am already halfway there. There were so many times when I just couldn't even imagine getting to this point. Through all the miscarriages and surgeries, sometimes I just couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I always tried to stay positive and trust the Lord. But it wasn't easy by any means. It was such a difficult time.

And now it's been very difficult b/c right now we are in the midst of possibly losing Little Guy - our nearly 7 month old foster baby who we'd hoped to adopt. At one point we were even told that we'd likely be able to adopt him, but now things are not looking favorable. We have been on a roller coaster for months now. So again, I continue to trust the Lord and pray for guidance.

I hope that I can continue to encourage you all with my pregnancy. After 4 miscarriages and 3 surgeries over the past 3 1/2 years, I know what it is like to be in the midst of the battle of recurrent pregnancy loss. But I hope that you will be encouraged that miracles do still happen and that maybe if it can happen for me that it can happen for you too.

Again, I want to post the info about the RE who finally helped me find the problem that other doctors missed: http://www.fertilitymemphis.com/our-team/william-h-kutteh-m-d-ph-d/

Thank you for your continued prayers and support!

Birdie

20 Week Scan

Today was my 20 weeks scan - the one that I kept looking to, thinking that I would finally relax and get excited when I got good results! And the results are in...

Everything was completely normal!!!!! NORMAL!!!! And they confirmed that we are having a girl!

I am so relieved and finally feel like I can start getting excited and telling more people. So far I have still only told a few people that I'm pregnant, mainly just those closest to me. My mom even bought the baby her first outfit today.

I'm so thankful today for a good report. After so many terrible reports it sure feels good to finally have wonderful pregnancy news. And I hope that I encourage you all that miracles still happen!!!

High Heels are a Pain!

Thank you Thank you Thank you for the reassurances y'all gave me about the pains I'm having in the lower sides of my abdomen. It really did make me feel much better!!!

But let me tell you what happened to me Saturday...

First of all, BIG MISTAKE: I wore high heels. I enjoy wearing heels. They don't normally bother me. But trust me, I'll never do it again while pregnant. I literally almost couldn't get out of the car when we arrived back home. My left side (lower abdomen, ligament area) was hurting SO bad!! And when I lifted my leg to get out of the car I almost couldn't do it.

I limped in to the house, and my husband had to help me into bed. He was asking me, "Do you need to go to the doctor??!" But I was adamant, "I am NOT spending the day in the emergency room!!!"

After I laid in bed for a while and rested and laid on my right side, the pain went away. It scared me. But, at the same time, it was not like pain I've had with miscarriages before. It wasn't cramping pain, and it was only on one side. So I was pretty sure that it was the ligament.

Thankfully I'm MUCH better now. But I'm going to have to really watch what I do and NO MORE HEELS!!!

Also, I got my alpha-fetoprotein lab result back. And it was NORMAL!!! I was so relieved when I tore into the envelope to read the results. I hadn't blogged about it, but I was nervous and praying that everything would be normal. It checks for things that can be wrong with the baby.

Thank you so much for your continued support. You all mean a lot to me!

And as far as Little Guy goes... We are still waiting. We have not heard any more news. We're still praying for a miracle that we will be able to adopt.

Achy Pains

So I've been having these sharp pains in the sides of my lower abdomen. And my lower abdomen almost constantly feels a little crampy/burning. My doctor says it's normal. He says that it's from all the uterine stretching going on. He also says that the sharp pains are most likely from the ligaments stretching.

Have any of y'all ever had that?

Sometimes I get the sharp pain when I cough. Most often I get it while trying to roll over in bed. And sometimes when getting up from a sitting position. Sometimes it's even sore when I press on it.

Of course, b/c of RPL, it's hard for me to not worry about things like this. Just looking for a little reassurance from my bloggy friends.... :)

17 Weeks!!

My stomach's getting bigger!! I know that I've yet to post a pic... Gotta do that soon!!! I'm getting more excited, but I'm still being cautious, I know. Even though everything looks great, sometimes it's hard to really take it all in and believe that everything is truly going to be okay. However, I'm trying to stay positive and not worry!!

Things with Little Guy are still all up in the air. It has been very, very hard. If we can just get him adopted and also deliver a healthy baby.... How wonderful that will be!!!! At the same time, though, I'm reminded to give my burdens to Jesus NOW and choose not to worry.

I hope you all are doing well and enjoying summer. It's so hot here!! But I don't really mind. I'm just so glad to be feeling better. After being so nauseous for so long, I am finally starting to feel more like my old self. I also have a bit more energy too. I've been told by some people that the 2nd trimester is great! I'm starting to believe it! :)

Thanks so much for reading! And I promise to try and get that pic up soon!!! :)

It's a ___________!!!!!

I had an u/s yesterday, and guess what....

We're having a girl!!!!!!

The tech was almost positive but won't say 100% for sure until my 20 week appointment.

I'm 17 weeks now. This is incredible!! I didn't know if I'd ever get this far. Thank You, Lord!!!!!!!