Ultrasound Day: A Roller Coaster Ride with a Major Twist

What a day!!

Two of the things that I never ever wanted to hear my doctor say:

"My suspicions are that it is either:
1) a blighted ovum or
2) an ectopic pregnancy"

So here's what happened:
I went to my new Dr. this morning to get my first ultrasound. The tech assured me that at this early in the game we would probably see nothing. (I'm only around 5 weeks, 1 or 2 days). And she was right. She saw...nothing. No gestational sac. Only enlarged uterus, thickened endometrium. Good. But not a sac. Good. But not a teeny tiny baby. I was very disappointed & scared.

So even though I'm not very far enough along, by this point my HCG should be high enough to see something according to my Dr's calculations (since it was 1149 one week ago). So he became concerned & suspicious that things were not as they should be.

He explained what an ectopic would mean...an injection of a scary sounding drug or surgery. A blighted ovum would mean miscarriage. But before any decision was made he wanted to check my HCG stat to give a clue as to what's going on.

The 2 hours I waited for the results were agonizing. I wept buckets of tears. I went through a roller coaster of emotions from depression to heartbreak to numbness. I couldn't understand why or how this could be happening to me again.

When I returned to the office, I found out that my HCG level is over 12,500. After that high of a number, my doctor didn't think it was a blighted ovum. He thought it was most likely an ectopic pregnancy. But he seemed puzzled.... Why wasn't I in pain? An ectopic pregnancy is usually very painful, and with an HCG of 12,500, I should already be in a lot of pain or at least have abdominal tenderness or bleeding. He poked around on my belly... Nothing. No pain. No tenderness. He'd also checked my blood level to make sure I wasn't losing any blood internally. It was normal.

I asked if he could call my fertility doctor for a 2nd opinion. He was more than happy to do so. He left the room, and I could hear him talking through the door. He was on the phone with my fertility clinic. Suddenly I heard him say something that was startling... He said,

"You think it's twins??!"

So there I was sitting with Jay in the exam room wondering what in the world is going on!??!! What does this mean??

My doctor came back in the room a few minutes later with a smile on his face. "They think you're carrying twins or multiples," he tells me. He goes on to say that that would explain it. I'm only around 5 weeks pregnant, so it's normal for nothing to show up on ultrasound. And my HCG is so high b/c I have more than one baby in there.

I can't even describe the relief I felt.... And my doctor was smiling & saying, "I don't know if you knew this, but I was so puzzled over this case. I never thought about the possibility of twins!"

HOWEVER, and this is a big however, he explained that there is still a chance of it being an ectopic pregnancy. He gave me his cell phone number to call this weekend if I have pain or bleeding. I'll return to his office Tuesday for a repeat ultrasound. He said that by then we should be able to see something.

I'm praying praying praying that they're right!!!!!!!!!!! Please, Lord, let it be!!!!

God is SO good!!! Please keep praying for me, my friends!

God bless you all!

I'm so totally worn out and drained that I can't write another sentence. Good night!

First Ultrasound

Tomorrow is my first ultrasound. I'm nervous but also very hopeful! I'm praying that everything is exactly on track and looks just as it should!!

This will be my first ultrasound at a regularly scheduled appointment. In the past I either 1) miscarried too early to have an ultrasound or 2) had my first ultrasound in the ER while bleeding.

This is my first REAL ob appointment where everything is going well!!!!! How exciting!! Thank You, Lord!!

Please do pray for me. I am SO hoping & praying for an excellent report!!!

Friday's Coming Soon

Friday is a big day. It's my first ultrasound & ob appointment with my new doctor. I'll only be about 5 weeks along, so I'm not sure how much they'll see. I'm just praying that everything is developed EXACTLY as it should be at this point in time.

So far everything is still going well. I'm still having the tingles in my belly. And it already feels bigger! That's probably more bloat than baby, though! I'm also feeling very very tired. I have a little nausea but nothing major.

I'm letting myself get a little excited. Please, Lord, let it be!!!

Thank you all for your continued prayers! I still need more peace. But God is helping me so much in that area. I've not been doing as many checks in the bathroom which is a big step for me. Please do keep praying that everything goes well! Thank you!!

I'm Choosing Faith & Not Fear

I'm still doing well! I still have the tingles in my belly, which I'm told is a good thing, so I'm okay with that! It's become comforting to me. I'm also doing a lot of bathroom checks to make sure everything is okay down there. And I absolutely hate that I feel like I need to constantly do that! I want to relax & not worry & just know that everything is going to be okay. Unfortunately, to compound those fears, I woke this morning to a terrible dream where I was bleeding & in the ER. What a way to wake up on Mother's Day!! BUT I will NOT believe that dream & let it influence me. God has told me not to fear. He is with me!! I have prayed time & time again, asking Him to protect this baby. And I have to believe that He will do it.

Today I'm spending the morning at home & then visiting our parents. I felt it wise to stay home from church today b/c of the Mother's Day celebrations. I'm SO glad that they recognize all of the mothers & I think it's a wonderful thing. But I don't think I can handle being the only woman not recognized as a mother today. It's a very small church, and I am the only one without a child. But I am not going to be sad today! That's a decision I am making right now! I am going to celebrate all that God is doing in my life today!

A friend (who also suffered 3 miscarriages & now has 2 beautiful boys) reminded me last night of all that God has done. A little more than a year ago I was working a job where I was totally stressed to the limit, having headaches every day, & longing to be a mom. Right now, here I am in a new job, ready to be out for the summer (I work at a school), and expecting a baby. She was encouraging me to enjoy this pregnancy b/c with her little boy, she was so worried about miscarrying again that she never took the time to enjoy that time in her life. It was a good reminder. God is in control! I will do the best I can do, caring for this baby to the very best of my ability, loving it & nurturing it, and I will trust God to do the rest! In the meantime, I pray that I truly enjoy this time of my life!

I hope that you all have a wonderful Mother's Day today. If Mother's Day is a difficult day for you (as I well understand), then I encourage you to do something special today that you enjoy. Go eat at your favorite restaurant, rent a good movie, read a good book, go on a walk... My husband is actually making me breakfast right now which is a special treat. :) We were going to go out today and do something special, but our bank account is a little on the small side right now with all the RE bills. So maybe we'll just go out for a nice drive in the sunshine. It's a beautiful day! I hope you all have a wonderful day. My heart aches for those that are hurting & longing to be a mom. I pray that you find comfort & peace today in Jesus! God Bless you all!!!

Praising God for a Good Report!

Well, today was another big day. I went back to the fertility clinic & had my 2nd HCG level drawn as well as another progesterone level. I was on pins & needles waiting for my phone to ring with the results. And with no further ado...

HCG = 1149

Progesterone = 52

Thank You, Jesus!

Tomorrow is Another Big Day

And today is a great day b/c I'm pregnant (It feels so strange to actually say those words!), and I'm not having any complications. Thank You, Lord!!!

Tomorrow is another big day for me. I'm going back to the RE for a 2nd HCG test. The number should be double what it was yesterday. That means it should be at least 1,100. They're also going to recheck my progesterone level. They don't normally check that again, but b/c of my history and b/c I'm worried about it, they're going to check it!

I'm also starting 1 Endometrin every night. In case you don't know what Endometrin is, it's a progesterone supplement vaginal insert. Even though my progesterone level is a high, it will give me a little peace of mind to know I'm taking extra steps to try to ensure a healthy pregnancy.

Please pray for me!! I'm praying for a good report tomorrow!

I'm still having the tingles/burning in my abdomen, but I'm trying to look at it as a good thing and assurance that things are going well.

I'm also checking myself every time I go to the bathroom & in between times too to make sure I'm not bleeding. I hate that! I don't want to obsessively check for blood every few minutes! I'm praying for more peace!! For God did not give me a spirit of fear! Thank You, Father!

I'll let you know my results tomorrow! God bless you all!

The Results Are In...

...HCG & Progesterone results, that is.

So, my positive pregnancy test was on Saturday, May 1st.

Today was my first visit since then to my RE's office for lab work.

And the results are.... (drum roll, please)

HCG: 550
Progesterone: 50

I am currently 3 weeks, 6 days pregnant.

The nurse said that those are good numbers. I feel encouraged yet still cautiously guarding my feelings.

I also asked her about the strange sensations in my lower abdomen. I almost constantly feel tingling & slightly burning sensations. She said this is normal & is probably caused from my uterus stretching. It's not cramping like when I had miscarriages in the past. But it's on the verge of a slight cramp/tingle/burn. It's hard to describe.

I also asked her about using Endometrin even though my progesterone level is great. She said she would talk to my doctor about it & call me tomorrow. She said that if it would make me feel better, then she doesn't see why I couldn't use it. She doesn't think it would hurt anything. But she's going to ask just to be sure.

I told her that I just want to feel that I have done everything possible to avoid miscarriage. She totally understood & was very kind and compassionate.

I want to thank the Lord for this answered prayer!!! I got a good report today!!! Thank You, Lord, for Your great mercies & provision. You are a wonderful God, and I love You!!

Friends, please do continue to pray for me that all goes well. Thank you!!

I will go back to my RE on Friday for another HCG level. They will check to make sure my level has doubled like it should in 48 hours.

Tomorrow's a Big Day

Tomorrow I'm going to my RE for my first labs since having a positive pregnancy test on Saturday.

I'm SOOO hoping & praying for a good report.

I should get same-day results.

I'm praying for my miracle baby!!!!

Staying Positive

Since my positive pregnancy test on Saturday evening I've been testing every morning. Sunday morning I did 2 different tests, both of which were clearly positive. This morning I did another test which was even slightly darker than yesterday's line.

This morning I called my fertility doctor's office to make an appointment. Unfortunately, yesterday brought severe flooding to Nashville & surrounding areas which makes it difficult to get to my RE.

As of now, my appointment is Wednesday. But I may try to change it to tomorrow. I'm only going for labs. And they will be done stat, which I LOVE!!!! Before going to the fertility clinic, when I was pregnant they would do labs and it would be days sometimes before I would hear anything. I would be on pins & needles. But I will get these results the SAME DAY!!!

One of my BFFs also gave me her leftover Endometrin. She miscarried and now has a 3 week old baby after using Endometrin. I'm going to ask my RE if I can use it too.

I've been trying to go on with life as usual. At first I fretted over the extra exercise I'd done last week & the heavy lifting I'd done at work on Friday before I knew I was pregnant. I was so worried that I'd done something to cause a miscarriage. My husband told me that I was acting as if I'd already had a miscarriage, when in fact, I'd just found out I'm pregnant. I realized that I can't agonize over every little thing. I've got to go on living life & not worrying every second over whether or not I'm going to have a miscarriage.

These past couple of days God has blessed me with a real sense of peace and a reprieve from worry & anxiety. I'm so thankful for this life that He's blessed me with, and I'm praying that He'll grant our heart's desire to have a normal pregnancy & get to parent this little baby.

Big News

So I spent the night out of town Friday night with some friends. I got home this evening & decided to do a pregnancy test even though it was too early to test. Well, to my surprise....

It was POSITIVE.

In a daze, I called Jay in to the bathroom to verify that there was indeed a faint line. He verified, to which I replied, "I'm scared."

According to my calculations, my cycle wasn't due to start until May 8th. How can it be positive a whole 7 days before that?

I had a positive ovulation test on April 19th.

The line is obviously there. At first it was barely visible but after a few minutes it's very clearly there.

I'm going to call my fertility doctor first thing Monday morning.

I know this post is scattered. I was so nervous earlier that my teeth were beginning to chatter and my legs were starting to shake.

Lord, my life is Your hands!!! This baby's life is in Your hands!!! Lord, please protect this baby & please grant Jay & I the desires of our heart... that our baby would be born normally & healthy and that we would be able to be parents to this precious little baby.

If you're a Christian, please do pray for us. I appreciate it so much! May God Bless You.